my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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