i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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