u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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