Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I met the friendliest cop last night
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
