at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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