i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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