if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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