What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize