She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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