Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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