All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
