somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
