it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
