My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
