I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
