Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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