I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize