I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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