it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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