I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize