I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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