how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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