What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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