yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
