Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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