Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
