i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
