i just had sex bonerless
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
