Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
17 year olds will be the death of me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
