I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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