'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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