quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize