Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize