it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize