first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
