I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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