your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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