Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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