so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
