butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
