I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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