yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
