4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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