No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
