"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just google imaged poop.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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