It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
