we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
