I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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