You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
