Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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