critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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