Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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