when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
