you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
