I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
