Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
