Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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