He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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