so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
