Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
