she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize