does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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