Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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