what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
