just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do vagina's smell?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
