she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
