I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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