i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
