real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
